THE SPINSTERS' PRIZE.

WE have decided to divide this piece as we did the bachelors. Amongst a number of competitions which are of about the same merit it is very invidious to pick out one and give all the money to the sender. We, therefore, publish the best twenty-one that have come to hand, and send five shillings for each. We may add that the competition by the spinsters have been better than those which we received from the bachelors, besides being considerably more numerous.

WRITE on the sands when the tide is low,
Seek the same spot when the waters flow—
Whisper a name when the tempest's heard;
Pause for echo to catch the word.
If what you write on the sand should last,
If echo is heard in the tempest's blast;
You may then believe and not till then,
There is truth in the vows of men.
— A SPINSTER THROUGH UNFAITHFULNESS,

Miss [illegible], The Lodge, Bury New Road, Prestwich.

BECAUSE I am an English lady, and the Americans monopolize the market.

Miss JESSIE DAVIES, 16, Claremont Road, Sparkbrook, Birmingham.

LIKE the wild mustang of the prairie that roams unfettered, tossing his head in utter disdain at the approach of the lasso which, if once round his neck, proclaims him captive, so I find it more delightful to tread on the verge of freedom and captivity, than to allow the snarer to cast around me the matrimonial lasso.

Miss SARAH KENNERLY, Newton Road, Ashton-on-Ribble.

BECAUSE I have other professions open to me in which the hours are shorter, the work more agreeable, and the pay possibly better.

Miss FLORENCE WATTS, 29, High Street, Fulham, S.W.

BECAUSE (like a piece of rare china) I am breakable, and mendable, but difficult to match.

Miss S. A. ROBERTS, The Poplars, Ocker Hill, Tipton, Staff.

OH, why am I a spinster? A disappointed maid?
A flower unpluck'd and left to bloom in uncongenial shade?
He says I'm "sweet" and "pretty," my figure "tall and slight."
I have a loving nature (I know I love him well!).
I sing, and dance, and play, and sew. At cooking I excel.
He vowed he loved me dearly, and begged me "name the day."
And as he was me "beau ideal," how could I say him nay?
Then why am I a spinster?—Tis Tit-Bits is to blame!
I longed to gain the "Spinsters' Prize," and so be known to fame.
"But wait a fortnight longer, Five Guineas, dear—no less!
"Twill take us to the Eiffel Tower and highest happiness!"

Miss [illegible] HARRIS, 21, Bickerton Road, Upper Holloway, London, N.

SMOKING caps I've embroidered by dozens,
Pretty slippers I've worked by the score,
For both nice-looking [illegible] and cousins,
And each one my embroidery wore.
"I accept them," they said, "with much pleasure,"
But, alas! They would not accept me.
I'm a derelict cargo of treasure
On the shores of the nuptial sea.

[name and street address illegible] Wexford, Ireland.

BECAUSE men, like three-cornered tarts, are deceitful, They are very pleasing to the eye, but on closer acquaintanceship prove hollow and stale, consisting chiefly of puff, with a minimum of sweetness, and an unconquerable propensity to disagree with one.

Miss EMALINE LAWRENCE, 8, Abbey Gardens, St. John's Wood, N.W.

BECAUSE matrimony is like an electric battery, when you once join hands you can't let go, however much it hurts; and, as when embarked on a toboggan slide, you must go to the bitter end, however much it bumps.

Miss LAURA BAX, 29, Pelham Road, Wood Green, London, N.

DEER MISTER TIT-BITS,—beein a cook with fourteen pund 5/10½ savins in the bank i natterally looks down on perleesmen solejeers an setterar, so i ham waittin fur a erle or a dook or sumthin of that sort to perpose fur my and and art, an that's why i ham a spinster. [sic]

Miss ANNIE NEWTON, Warwick Cottages, Yiewsley, West Drayton, Middlesex.

A KITTEN caught a little mouse,
And, being fond of play,
She let it run about the house
Until it got away.
Puss wagged her tail and looked so cross,
Vexation made her whine;
It moved my pity for her loss,
And made me think of mine
A fine young fellow courted me,
I thought I held him fast;
But, oh! I tampered with his love,
And he escape at last

Miss W. [illegible], Whittlesford, Cambridge.

WHY am I a spinster? Because, like many others, I have procrastinated, vacillated, and alternated. I have been fickle when I ought to have been faithful, deaf when I ought to have heard, blind when I ought to have seen, giddy and gay when I ought to have been staid and circumspect. I have said "No" when I ought to have said "Yes." I have been in the summer and foolishly dreamed that the autumn would never come. It came, slowly but surely, and it will leave me, for the white winter of life, a lonely spinster when I ought to have been a "British matron."

Miss ALICE MAUD JEFFERY, 81, Christchurch Street, Ipswich, Suffolk.

WHY I am a spinster, I'll here try to explain:
I feel I should wish to be single again;
For men are so selfish, too fond of their club,
They come home very late, then only to snub.
Rather than marry and meet such a sad fate,
I will live an old maid with my cat for a mate;
Although he may wander and leave me at night,
I can always depend he won't come home tight.
So I'll stick to my cat as long as he seem
Content with the milk, while I take all the cream;
For good men are scarce, but fools there are plenty,
That's why I am single at seven-and-twenty.

Miss ANNIE CUSTANCE, 7, Bridge Street, Peterborough.

BECAUSE after carefully studying the following advertisement I could not [illegible] apply for "an angel'" place!

WANTED
"Wanted, a wife who can handle a broom,
To brush down the cobwebs and sweep up the room;
To make decent bread that a fellow can eat,
Not the horrible compound you often meet.
Who knows how to broil, and to fry, and to roast,
Make a good cup of tea, and a plate of toast.
A wife who washes, cooks, irons, and stitches,
And sews up rips in a fellow's old breeches;
And makes her own garments, an item that grows
Quite highly expensive, as everyone knows.
A common-sense creature, and still with a mind
To teach and to guide, exalted, refined.
A sort of an angel and housewife combined."

Miss A. [illegible] Smith Street, Stepney, E.

As there are so many more women than men, we cannot all hope to marry; but please don't think I am dissatisfied. I am now only a dairymaid. If I married I should be a wife, mother, nurse, housekeeper, chambermaid, seamstress, laundress, dairymaid, and scrub generally.

Miss SOPHIA [illegible], 69, Grove Park Road, Tottenham.

A SPINSTER am I, and the reason in this,
Did ever a suitor propose
To press on my lips a lover-like kiss,
I scornfully turned up my nose.
I wishes Mr. Right "to come up to the scratch,"
And happy and careless I stayed;
But left I now am without any mate
A cappy and hairless old maid!

Miss R. J. L. Simpson, 21A, Market Street, Lancaster.

My reason for being a spinster is answered in a quotation from the "Taming of the Shrew": "Of all the men alive I never yet beheld that special face which I could fancy more than any other."

Miss LIZZIE MOORE, 12, Foulser Road, Upper Tooting, S.W.

BECAUSE I am like the Rifle Volunteers: always ready, but not yet wanted.

Miss ANNIE THOMPSON, No. 2A, Belmont Street, Oldham.

BECAUSE I do not care to enlarge my menagerie of pets, and I find the animal man less docile than a dog, less affectionate than a cat, and less amusing than a monkey.

Miss SPARROW, 9, Manor Place, Paddington, W.

John, whom I loved, was supplanted in his office by a girl, who is doing the same amount of work he did for half the salary he received. He could not earn sufficient to keep a home, so went abroad; consequently, I am still a spinster.

Miss E. JONES, 32, St. Peter's Street, Mile End, London, E.

YOU want to know the reason so many do not marry,
It may be thought treason if I tell you why we tarry:
But if I only tell you that which concerns myself,
It cannot hurt the feelings of the rest "upon the shelf."
So far as I'm involved, here's a true and full confession
(Publication of the same I leave to your discretion):
I've reached the age of forty—(the odd figure you must guess),
And up to date I've never had the chance of saying "Yes."

Miss ROSA A. HUMMING, 29, Canal Road, Bradford, Yorks.