A Sexual Glossary
By Diane White
Sexuality seems to get more and more confusing every day. There's the boy George look, Michael Jackson as Peter Pan, Annie Lennox as him/herself, actors playing women, actresses playing men, bi's trannies, androgynes, one-sex-fits-all.
Where will it all end? It probably never will. Meanwhile, here's a short glossary to help those who may be bewildered by the new trends and terms.
- Ambisexual: Someone who is sexual on both the right and the left sides.
- Antisexual: One who is militantly opposed to sex in any form.
- A-sexual: Better than B-Sexual or C-sexual. The highest grade.
- Autosexual: (a) Person who wants himself all to himself, or (b) someone drawn to cars.
- Bisexual: A person who engages in sexual activity once every two years. (See "semisexual" for comparison.)
- Cinesexual: One who is addicted to sex in movies.
- Circumsexual: (a) A person who is sexual on all sides, or (b) someone who likes to give others the runaround.
- Disexual: A passionate admirer of the Princess of Wales.
- Exsexual: Someone who engages in sex with a former spouse.
- Extrasexual: (a) Somebody extremely sexy, or (b) a person who has a fling with a being from outer space, then sells his or her story to the National Enquirer.
- Hypersexual: One who exaggerates his or her experience.
- Hypnosexual: Someone who puts his or her partner to sleep. (Compare to "narcosexual")
- Insexual: The opposite of outsexual, used to describe anything that's fashionable at the moment, such as androgyny.
- Maxisexual: Popular leading man in countless X-rated movies.
- Megasexual: Elephants. Whales too. And hippopotamuses.
- Minisexual: What turns Mickey on.
- Narcosexual: A person who falls asleep during sex.
- Nonsexual: Someone who never says "Oui".
- Omnisexual: People who are excited by back copies of Omni magazine.
- Pansexual: Someone who emulates Michael Jackson.
- Parasexual: (a) One who is qualified to advise about sex but not to engage in it, or (b) someone who engages in sex while (1) skydiving or (2) holding a small umbrella to ward off the sun.
- Phonosexual: A person who likes to talk about it on the telephone, preferably long-distance.
- Pixisexual: One who is fond of elves.
- Polysexual: One who is turned on by manmade fibers.
- Prosexual: (a) Someone is favor o sex, or (b) a classification (compared, for example, to "semiprosexual).
- Protosexual: Pertaining to sexual etiquette.
- Pseudosexual: A person who pretends to be interested in sex but isn't.
- Quasisexual: (a) Something resembling sex, or (b) a person who's all talk.
- Resexual: Somebody who's middle-age crazy.
- Retrosexual: Someone who fantasizes about sex during the 50's.
- Semisexual: One who engages in sex twice a year.
- Stereosexual: A person who insists on wearing his Sony Walkman at all times.
- Subsexual: (a) Sex involving small cars, or (b) what Robert Mitchum was in "The Enemy Below".
- Synsexual: Something you shouldn't be doing.
- Tautosexual: Pertaining to the pointless repetition of sex.
- Trisexual: A person with whom sex is a trying experience.