By myself

Celibacy is not regarded as a positive choice of lifestyle. It is a compromise which we may come to accept in coming to terms with a bad situation. Fucks don't seem to be coming in the right direction, and rather than go through the painful search for a dick or cunt it is often easier to abandon the whole thing.

But why is it so necessary to go through the hassles of a sexual relationship which is so often exploitative and hurtful. Maybe too much time is spent trying to handle situations which are not good and constructive for everyone. There is so much social pressure to consummate every friendship with some sexual involvement. In any intimate relationship, the first question asked is "Why aren't you fucking?" The implicit assumption being that sexual involvement can only enrich and enhance the relationship. Too often sexual involvement is very destructive. It can be totally inappropriate and bring out all the worst in sex role typing, which previously didn't interfere in the friendship. I can be a clammy grasping doubting silence where previously there was a warm deep conversation.

To refuse to enter in a sexual relationship is often interpreted as a monstrous denial. Women are accused of being 'cock teasers', of leading a man on to believe he could gain sexual satisfaction with her and then denying it. Men are treated as aberrations and misfits if they don't want to fuck every woman they ever get to know.

Not only is is assumed that sexual communication is the ultimate and only basis for a relationship, it is assumed that someone who doesn't want to fuck is a totally asexual being.

Celibacy can mean learning to come to terms with one's own sexuality and in touch with one's own body instead of being exploited and fucked over by someone else; it may be important to keep sexuality private, as something to explore and enjoy by oneself.

Instead of being bogged down wondering where the next fuck will come from and then feeling so bad and frigid and unresponsive because the fuck didn't work, it is better on work on other ways of communicating.

Celibacy is often associated with loneliness, isolation and no close relationship because people are just so hung up on fucking they can't see round it. How many people would prefer to relate by talking and being together, doing and sharing things which both partners feel they can participate in together and share, rather than going through a sexual feeling session which involves very little communication for those people.

Every individual has to control their own sexuality; it is a private feeling everyone should come to terms with in their own way. Why can't people enjoy their own sexuality without being roughly intruded on? To choose celibacy can give a far greater feeling of freedom and of control over one's life. If a relationship dies for lack of a fuck, it would seem that communication had ceased a long time before.

Prue, Marg, Laurie, Jean, Di, Helen, Jane